One Surprising Way to Improve a Challening Relationship
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It’s Family Day Long weekend here in Ontario, Canada.
That means an extra day to spend with the humans I love deeply enough to call family.
And if your family is anything like mine, you may also have a family relationship or two that is challenging.
That’s pretty normal.
What’s also normal is having a continued longing to improve that challenging relationship. Even if you’ve tried all kinds of things without any success yet.
If, like me, you fall into that category, here’s a practice you may want to try.
First, pick one person to focus on. Someone you are in relationship with where there is conflict, strain, or challenge.
If this is your first time trying something like this, pick a person who is a 3 or 4 on a 10-point challenge scale. Don’t start with a 10.
Now bring that person to mind.
Think about them. Call up an image of them. Imagine they were in the room with you. Actually, visualize them somewhere in the room.
Ask yourself the following question: how are you currently being when you are with this person?
BUT…..this question is not for your head.
Let your body answer.
If your body had to answer the question, how are you being,
What shape would it make?
How would it orient itself towards or away from this person?
What specifically are you doing in your body? And specifically where?
What else do you notice.
That’s the status quo. We can also call it STATE 1.
And what you’re doing is raising embodied self and social awareness of the status quo.
Now let’s focus on STATE 2 - what could be
Shake off that first shape. Think of that person again. Call up an image of them and feel their presence. Visualize them in the same space in your room
Ask your body this question:
How do you want to be around them?
If it were easy and there were no obstacles, how would you want to be around them?
Ask your body. Not your head. And notice
What shape are you making with your body?
How are you orienting yourself towards or away from this person now?
What else are you doing differently from the status quo STATE 1
Specifically, what are you doing differently? And specifically where?
I get that this practice might seem odd. We aren’t used to leveraging our body as a tool for change. But what would you be willing to try for the sake of something better?
This is one little preview of what embodiment coaching is all about. If you are curious to learn more, book a call here
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As a leadership coach, and former yoga and mindfulness teacher, I help leaders access the intelligence of the body in generating that transformation.
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