One Key Principle to Unlock Your Leadership
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I’m still on this theme of why we as leaders need to increase embodied self awareness, in order to live a life of purpose, impact and connection.
Here’s another view on this:
Likely as a leader you have already thought about your mental state.
It might go something like this:
You’re boss dials you up end of day and drops something urgent on your desk last minute:
You have the thought: “My boss is a jerk. I hate my boss.”
You notice this thought and think: “Hey Liz, that’s not helpful. Try to be more positive.”
You reframe the thought: “My boss is a jerk and I can do this.”
Voila – that is the skill of metacognition - awareness of thoughts - in action and it’s certainly helpful.
But often, and you may have noticed this..
The mental shift is only temporary. Soon enough those unhelpful thoughts start to creep back in
Your brain is trying to think a helpful thought but your body is still irritated and annoyed. A deeper part of you recognizes that you’re not in your best state - the state that will support your best work
You might feel like you’re wrestling against yourself – going back and forth between two mindstates. I want to keep this job. I hate this job.
That back and forth takes energy. Energy you could be devoting to your work, your partner, your kids, and your health. You’re battling against yourself and it’s exhausting.
Why is that?
The truth is that when you are in a state of emotional challenge or stress, it is almost impossible to change your thoughts in a real, sustainable way.
There is incongruence between the physical, emotional, and energetic state your body is in and the thoughts you are trying to think.
Try this on for size: (one of my favourite exercises from embodiment coach Amanda Blake)
Pic 1
Round your shoulders, collapse your chest, cross your arms in front of you, drop your head, look down at the floor and try to think the thought: “I’m having a great day”
Now do the opposite.
Pic 2
Draw your shoulders down your back, expand your chest, extend your arms out to the side, gaze up at the sky and try to think the thought: “Today sucks”
If you’re like me, you may have wanted to laugh when you try this exercise.
It feels almost comical to try to think expansive thoughts when your body is in a constricted state. (pic 1)
Likely when your body is expanded (pic 2) it’s nearly impossible to think limited thoughts.
There is congruence between the thoughts we think and the way we hold our bodies.
What the principle of congruence tells us is this:
Rather than trying to shift your thoughts, shift your body first.
Specifically, shift your body into a state of being congruent with who you are when you are at your best (more on that in a newsletter to come)
Do that more often.
Learn do that under stress and pressure.
Learn do it in the face of obstacles and challenge.
Learn to do it in conflict.
Learn to shift your body first and you will have a drastically different life.
Join me every Friday, for a fresh edition of this newsletter. I'll drop some new ideas, including practical stuff you can actually use because, trust me, change doesn't come from just knowing things. It's all about putting this into practice.
I help visionary leaders and teams be at their best more often so they can do their best work.
As a leadership coach, and former yoga and mindfulness teacher, I help leaders access the intelligence of the body in generating that transformation.
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