For many of us, there is still a conflict between what our heart wants and what our body tells us is safe.
Some of us override this.
We force ourselves to be bigger, to take up more space, but in the end, we often end up either feeling like imposters or riddled with anxiety.
My longing is for each of us women to find the courage to follow our sparkly hearts without sending ourselves into nervous system breakdown along the way.
It’s only by examining our unconscious automatic habits that we can truly shift.
This is how we find true equality.
Not by talking about it. By embodying it. And by overriding all our old patterns, habits that are getting in the way.
Is this hard work? You betcha.
But you were born to do hard things. The chances of you being here are 1 in a very large number. If you’re alive today it means that resilience is hardwired into your genes.
Practice is everything
I don’t believe in fake it until you make it.
Fake it until you make it adds too much stress. Instead I prefer practice it, until you become it. Less catchy I know but 100% more effective:
STEP 1: Get clear on what you care about.
Really figure out what you want. Wants important to you. What inspires you. What do you want to make happen. When you’re 99 and rocking on your front porch swing, eating applesauce between gummed teeth, what are the lived experiences you want to be telling your grandchildren about?
We always think we have more time. We don’t. This shit is happening today. Get clear on what’s important and carve out protected, non-negotiable time to obsess about that each day.
STEP 2: Learn how you give in to doubt.
I’m not going to lie. This step is the hardest. You need to shine a bright laser beam light of awareness onto how you give up on yourself. Do you procrastinate? Do you analyze yourself into paralysis? Do you impulse shop? Or are you like me and do a combo of all three? These compulsive habits are robbing you of the life you want. It will be hard to stop them but it’s possible. Support helps.
STEP 3: Observe yourself in action
Practice developing awareness of when you are taking steps aligned with what you care about (number 1) and when you are unconsciously giving into doubt (number 2).
Again AWARENESS. It’s hard. Meditate and/or journal so you can better observe yourself. Yes this is work but this is your life we’re talking about. A ten minute morning practice is worth it to build the life you want.
STEP 4: Practice courage.
Recognize the doubt, give that fearful part of you a compassionate hug and then decisively act in alignment with what you want and who you truly are.
Start small and then get bigger. This will open you up. You will feel exhiliration you have not felt since you were a kid. You will feel alive and want to do it again. This will become your new addiction. Doing scary and exciting things. This will change you.
STEP 5: Repeat
That’s the process. Get clear on what you want. Develop awarenes of what’s getting in the way. Act with courage.
Easier said then done. There are lots of ways you can get knocked down. Know that that’s normal. Just pick yourself up and repeat.
This is exactly the type of work I do with women through Embodied Confidence for Women.
And it’s the kind of work that can change the world. When done on the individual level it’s liberating, when multiplied by many, it’s apocalyptic. But in a good way. It will bring about an end to all that’s no longer working and create a colossal shift towards what’s possible.
It starts with you.
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