Most people assume that are already written.
When they look back a previous decade, they can see that they have obviously changed. That they are not the same person they were in their 20s, 30s or 40s.
But when they look forward they assume they will stay the same. They think who they are today, will be the person they are in their future. They expect they will no longer change.
But this expectation that you won’t change, conflicts with the evidence of your own life.
It’s obvious, when you ponder it, that you aren’t the same person you were in your 20s.
And it also conflicts with adult developmental theory – a body of research that proves the adult mind can change over time. That the way you make sense of your world today may not be the way you make sense of your world tomorrow.
And that specifically — this theory tells us — situations of complexity (like the one we find ourselves in now) can bring about massive shifts in how you see, process and respond to your world.
What if you suspended belief that you are already written?
What if you suspended belief that you are who you are?
I realized this morning, that even though I obsess about ideas like this, I was falling into the same trap. Having just come though a period of some serious self growth, I was assuming that who I was now, would be the person who would carry me through my next decades.
I had put a period where a dash should be.
This morning I replaced that period with a dash.
I am a “To Be Continued.”
Not a “Happily Ever After.”
And there is both fear and exhilaration in that.
I have less control, but also way more possibility.
Less certainty, but more freedom.
What if you assumed you have yet to change?
Have you thought about who you want to change into?