I have to admit.
I was an early COVID-denier.
Initially, I discounted the science and dismissed the early news reports, denying the possibility that what was happening elsewhere could happen here.
This is Canada – the land of lakes, maples and universal health care. Surely our cooler temperatures would help protect us or our geographic vastness would thwart this virus? These were all thoughts I had based on no science whatsoever.
And the reason I clung to notions like these, I realize, is because of the following:
I did not want to feel fear.
I have done a lot to reduce the persistent level of anxiety that loves to reside in my body.
I eat well.
I sleep often.
I rise early and meditate, journal and run.
I don’t watch scary movies and usually avoid consuming large quantities of news.
I’ve done a lot to cultivate a felt-sense of calm, trust, connection, wonder and love.
So, for me personally, much more than the physical threat COVID has to my body (I’m outside the high-risk age bracket luckily) is the threat COVID poses to my mental health.
What’s coming up for me now is a reminder of a lesson life seems to want to drill into me. And the lesson is this:
Duality is a part of life.
The full human experience allows for both the light and the dark, the highs and the lows. It is possible to feel both:
purpose and doubt
inspiration and resistance
the call of spirit and the pull of ego
and love vs fear
A large part of adulting, for me. these last few years, has been to make space for the discomfort that comes from living with these contrasts. And the more I live with them, the more I realize how closely they are tied. Truly, they are not polar opposites. Instead they are different sides of the same coin.
For anything that matters in life, they will always come together.
And the process for dealing with duality is always the same.
Make space for the dark. Shine a light on our shadows. Cultivate compassion for the parts of us that are fear.
Find the love that lives right beside the dark. Remind yourself of what is always there and amplify what already wants to grow inside.
And then, finally and most importantly, choose with awareness. Decide who you will listen to and act fiercely and courageously in this world.