Remember your first date ever?
Did you hum marriage songs at dinner? Were you already changing both your names to Mr. and Mrs. So-in-so? A hyphenated last name shared by both of you cos you’re progressive like that.
Did you bring up the band you wanted to hire and the honeymoon you wanted to take?
If so, how did that work out for you?
Although it’s been a while since I’ve dated (having been married now for 13 years), in my experience, first dates never seemed to work out if I put too much pressure on them.
And it’s exactly the same thing with purpose.
When it comes to purpose, I find a lot of clients either want to head straight for the marriage aisle or never even venture to take the first step out of fear of purpose-commitment.
Too many of us have fallen into believing the myths of purpose. There are several of these, but here are the most common ones, debunked, for what I hope, will soon be your purpose-pursuing pleasure:
Myth 1: Purpose Will Come to Me in a Sky-Opening, Cloud-Parting, Flash of Light + Colour
The truth is purpose is something you learn about over time.
In the book Grit, author and researcher Angela Duckworth says purpose doesn’t normally start with passion or certainty.
Instead it starts with interest. A passing impulse to take a pottery class. A curiosity about a book on public speaking.
The trailhead that marks the path to purpose is a small wooden sign, not a flashing billboard.
So be curious, be open.
Myth 2: I can think my way into purpose
If your thinking brain could solve this problem it would have already.
The truth is there is no pro + con list, no aptitude test, no checklist list that will lead you to your purpose.
That’s because your purpose is as unique as you are. And figuring it out will take some creativity.
Myth 3: There’s no point taking steps towards my purpose until I’m sure it’s the right one
That’s like turning down a date with a hunky, lovely dude because you aren’t yet sure he’s “the one.”
Did you ever just date a girl or a guy because you wanted to? Because it was fun? Because she exposed you to new interests, like rock-climbing. Something you do all the time now, because of her? Even though you didn’t marry her?
Trying on your purpose is like that. It may not lead to a lifetime commitment but it will lead to learning, growth and self-discovery which will eventually lead to something.
So follow all trails and see where they lead!
Myth 4: When I find my purpose I won’t have any doubt
I hear this all the time.
People seem to think they will suddenly be more confident, more bold, more focussed when they find their purpose.
And yes the path to purpose can lead to all these things. But doubt and fear will still be there. Sometimes, because we care so much about what we’re doing, the fear and doubt can get even bigger.
In truth, purpose is not about banishing doubt. It’s about learning how to live with it in service of something greater.
Myth 5: Purpose is reserved for the special few
This is the kind of thinking that keeps too many of us hidden from our light and removed from how we can contribute to world.
And, oh boy, does this world need each and every one of us right now.
Shake this kind of thinking from your head. Literally shake your head if you need to.
This world needs you.
Be cool. Be curious. Be committed to self-discovery. Your purpose is out there.
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